Remember THIS conversation? Well here we go again...
Me: (Holding up a dark green wash cloth) Didn't you use your wash cloth this morning - it's bone dry.
Husband: I used the one on the left.
Me: That's mine! See you have the dark green towel with the matching dark green wash cloth, I have the light green towel with the light green wash cloth!
Husband: Oh - I thought you used a bath sponge..
Me: But now I am using a wash cloth - which matches my towel. How long have you been assigned to the dark green towel set?
Husband: I don't know - a long time???
Me: Are you color blind? It's the toothbrush thing all over again...And besides your wash cloth always hung on the right side!
Husband: Ooops...
Tuesday, May 1st
Husband: How come you have pickles and I don't?
Me: Because you don't want pickles.
Husband: How do you know I don't want pickles?
Me: Do you want pickles?
Husband: No, actually I don't.
Me: See, that's why I didn't give you any.
Me: Because you don't want pickles.
Husband: How do you know I don't want pickles?
Me: Do you want pickles?
Husband: No, actually I don't.
Me: See, that's why I didn't give you any.
Friday, April 6th
Me: The pizza came awfully quick
Husband: They were really busy when I called..
Me: Guess Good Friday and the first night of Passover doesn't mean much. Is Good Friday included in that whole Lent thing?
Husband: I don't know
Me: You went to Catholic school. Don't you remember anything about your childhood.
Husband: I don't remember much about any part of my life...
Me: How can you not remember your own life..?
Husband: I guess I just never paid attention..
Me: ::Laugh uproariously:: How do you not pay attention to your own life?
Husband: They were really busy when I called..
Me: Guess Good Friday and the first night of Passover doesn't mean much. Is Good Friday included in that whole Lent thing?
Husband: I don't know
Me: You went to Catholic school. Don't you remember anything about your childhood.
Husband: I don't remember much about any part of my life...
Me: How can you not remember your own life..?
Husband: I guess I just never paid attention..
Me: ::Laugh uproariously:: How do you not pay attention to your own life?
Thursday, March 15th
Me: (struggling to get off the couch) Ow, ow, ow - it hurts
Husband: I could tell
Me: Really - how?
Husband: The "ow, ow, ow" gives me a clue
Me: But my shoulder and back don't hurt when I reach forward, only when I move my shoulder back.
Husband: "Doctor, doctor - it hurts when I do this..."
Husband & I laughing: "So don't do that..."
Me: Right, so you got your own HBO special now?
Husband: I could tell
Me: Really - how?
Husband: The "ow, ow, ow" gives me a clue
Me: But my shoulder and back don't hurt when I reach forward, only when I move my shoulder back.
Husband: "Doctor, doctor - it hurts when I do this..."
Husband & I laughing: "So don't do that..."
Me: Right, so you got your own HBO special now?
Friday, February 3rd
Me: Just in case you were thinking about it - Don't.
Husband: Thinking about what???
Me: Valentine's Day is coming up - please don't get me anything.
Husband: Not even an edible arrangement?
Me: Nope - nothing. And I've got a surprise for you, I nominated you for the congressional medal of honor!
Husband: ::laughing:: Why?
Me: 'Cause you deserve it for putting up with me.
Husband: I don't "put up with you" - I love you.
Me: Honey, I get on my own nerves. Don't think I'm not aware of my behavior.
Husband: You don't get on my nerves and I know why you are the way you are.
Me: Maybe so, but still - it ain't easy.
Husband: But I do worry. When you have these melt-downs, I'm afraid you are going to stay there.
Me: Me too...
Husband: Thinking about what???
Me: Valentine's Day is coming up - please don't get me anything.
Husband: Not even an edible arrangement?
Me: Nope - nothing. And I've got a surprise for you, I nominated you for the congressional medal of honor!
Husband: ::laughing:: Why?
Me: 'Cause you deserve it for putting up with me.
Husband: I don't "put up with you" - I love you.
Me: Honey, I get on my own nerves. Don't think I'm not aware of my behavior.
Husband: You don't get on my nerves and I know why you are the way you are.
Me: Maybe so, but still - it ain't easy.
Husband: But I do worry. When you have these melt-downs, I'm afraid you are going to stay there.
Me: Me too...
Wednesday, January 18th
Me: Wasn't that nice that the man gave us these two oranges as gifts. I wonder why he likes us?
Husband: I don't know.
Me: We never spend more than $20 there and we don't go in all that often.
Husband: Don't know
Me: I bet he likes us 'cause he thinks we're cute. Everybody thinks we're cute!
Husband: (speaking in high-pitched old lady squeaky voice) Oh look Maudie, isn't that old couple cute! They're holding hands. They must be in love...
Me: ::cackling laughter::
Husband: I don't know.
Me: We never spend more than $20 there and we don't go in all that often.
Husband: Don't know
Me: I bet he likes us 'cause he thinks we're cute. Everybody thinks we're cute!
Husband: (speaking in high-pitched old lady squeaky voice) Oh look Maudie, isn't that old couple cute! They're holding hands. They must be in love...
Me: ::cackling laughter::
Sunday, January 15th
Husband: What is that song you're humming?
Me: Don't know but can't get it out of my head.
Husband: I think it's by The Turtles
Me: OK, Let's look it up
(scrolling through youtube)
Husband: There, try that one - Happy Together
Me: No that's not it!
Husband: Yeah, that's not it.
Me: Now I can't get this song out of my head! (dripping sarcasm)Thanks!
Husband: Sorry
Me: And now I can't remember the other song and I liked it better!
Husband: (laughing) Sorry...
Me: Mr. Music Maven Smartass!
Me: Don't know but can't get it out of my head.
Husband: I think it's by The Turtles
Me: OK, Let's look it up
(scrolling through youtube)
Husband: There, try that one - Happy Together
Me: No that's not it!
Husband: Yeah, that's not it.
Me: Now I can't get this song out of my head! (dripping sarcasm)Thanks!
Husband: Sorry
Me: And now I can't remember the other song and I liked it better!
Husband: (laughing) Sorry...
Me: Mr. Music Maven Smartass!
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